Posts Tagged ‘Dreams’

An Unfinished Dream

Posted: March 9, 2013 in Dreams
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Scultpor of Emotions by Gaylord Ho

       “Visions” by Gaylord Ho (“Sculptor of Emotions”)**

      I was having a really good dream this morning.  Apparently on the rare hours I actually scratch out a patch of sleep, I hit the deep R.E.M. cycles pretty good.  My dreams are so vivid.  I remember many of them immediately after words.  If I ponder long enough to recall them once or twice that day, chances are I’ll be able to recall them several weeks from now.

Yes, I was having a great dream.  In it I saw someone I knew a long time ago.  In this alternate yet parallel universe that is so full of life while I am comatose still in real life, everything seems twice as real.   Surreal.  I’m convinced a dreamer came up with the term.

This person was leaving a long red brick building and was wearing an oversized jacket, kind of like a detective jacket.  A scarf was draped around his neck.  Sunglasses on.  I was standing about twenty yards  away.  I smiled.  It had been decades in real life since our paths crossed.  Yet in real life I hardly knew him at all.  It’s not a love story.  It’s an acquaintance.  And yet.

In dreams, it’s always so much more than meets the eye.  Somehow you just know the next day, the dream had a deeper meaning than what just what meets the eye, this dark and silent mysterious place in the mind.  A place where words seem to have been spoken, yet when remembered, it was more like they were simply conveyed.

“Hello!” it felt as though I was shouting.  My heart felt as if it was racing but only in my dream, but why?  In real life, our paths would simply run parallel, never to converge, passing one another unaware.   He simply smiled and waved back at me.  Then he abruptly turned his face and walked away.  Or perhaps glided; it’s the everyday waking moments we take for granted that are more fuzzy upon recall in dreams.  I remember specific details of faces and places, how I felt, colors and their intensity, but everyday things like walking and talking are hazy and out of focus.

Other things happen in dreams too.  We move forward and backwards in time.  We are more free, and unhindered by things like age, occupation, wealth or health, relational dynamics, or even gravity.    This ability for the mind to morph our everyday reality into a super reality seemingly and effortlessly combines all that we actually are, all that we fear, and all that we hope to be converges to make a kind of soup of our real life stories.

“Woof!” “Woof, woof!!”  It’s our new puppy.  In real life. 

My eyes open and try and focus like a zoom lens struggling to find the light in a dark room.  It takes a while for them to dial in on the clock face and another moment to read the time.  4:11 am.

It’s that lucid moment when my dream is the freshest, on the very tip of my consciousness—the moment of perfect total recall. 

This man of mystery simply waved and had already walked on.

     “Wait!  Come back!” I’m internally shouting.   COME BACK!  It’s too late.  He  fades.  The moment in time has passed. It’s too late.  I won’t ever know what would have happened next. 

I throw back the covers and jump into my sweats that are still in the dropped position of where I left them.   I grab my jacket draped over the chair.  I hurry downstairs and let the puppy out to do his business.  It’s 4:13 in the morning and I’m in my back yard feeling like Lord Byron contemplating my dream and wondering what might have been.  If only…..what might have been.

Why did the dream mean so much in my mind when it wouldn’t even register as memorable in real life?  Does God whisper something we can’t quite understand in our dreams?   Why this person?  Why now?  What does it all mean?  And how come I can’t I stop thinking about it?

       I stand outside in real life a little longer.  I’m barefooted.  It’s freezing!  I just want to hurry up and get back to my over-sized bed with its thousand plus thread count Egyptian cotton sheets and super soft fuzzy blankets.    I just want to finish what I started.  But I know I never will.

What’s true in life, is also true in our dreams.  We have to stay in the dream to finish it.   We can’t let interruptions wake us up.  Oh, how they compete for our time though, do they not?    Reality is cold.  It nips at our heels and pushes us towards uncomfortable.   Yes, reality bites.  Life is hard.  Life is busy.  With dreams this much is the minimal requirement:  Stay the course anyway.

I’m back upstairs again and cozily burrowed again under my sea of blankets.   Ah!  Softness.  Warmth.  The great aphrodisiac of the exhausted is calling me:   Sleep, sleep tonight.  And may your dreams be realized.

**(Artistic Credit:  The sculpture above entitled “Visions” is described as “An angel with crystal ball.  The angel gazes into a a crystal ball as she looks for truth and compassion.  The crystal ball represents the earth, the environment, and all mankind.  The angel contemplates the wonder of it all.”  It is on display at The Wyland Gallery in Orlando, FL at Walt Disney World’s Polynesian Resort.)

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Dreams are illustrations… from the book your soul is writing about you.  ~Marsha Norman     

  So I’m having a totally stressed out day and I can’t put my finger on the cause exactly.  I had the day off work, and enjoyed spending the afternoon with my little boy and my mom.   We even treated ourselves to a yummy lunch at the restaurant where my daughter works.  You know the kind, where the food is a Renoir painting that you’re almost sad to eat.  We got great service; she got a grandmother-sized tip, we had a nice meal, and everyone was happy.  I was.

      Until I got home that is.  That’s when a dark cloud rolled in.  Knowing the rest of the week I have to work and even a precious day off still involves laundry, dishes, bills, paperwork, email, organizing, grocery shopping, cleaning bathrooms.   It seems these chores that seemingly never end and never cross a finish line continuously plague me.   I so want to be grateful for the mundane moments of life, not just the magnificent ones.  I struggle with the repetitiveness of reality I guess.   What should be easy is hard because it endlessly repeats.

       So on dreary rainy days like today, all I really want is to go to my HAPPY PLACE.   I realize for everyone it’s different but for me, it really is being in a crowd at a U2 concert as close to the front as possible.   For folks that aren’t U2 fans or haven’t seen them in concert it’s nearly impossible to describe. 

      The only way I can describe it is a cross between a rock concert and a service in a beautiful cathedral, peppered with some mind-blowing technology.  Your eyes and ears are in sensory-heaven!  Everyone around you will seem like the happiest people on the planet.  That’s because they are!  At least, for the moment!

      People that are shy, people with bad singing voices and smiling bright faces will all sing and sound beautiful in unison.  It’s for one simple reason.  U2 simply puts on the best concert out there.  The band, the audience, and the music just kind of meld together into some kind of surreal atmosphere that can only be described as magic!  You WILL forget you ever had worries in the first place.   

       Perhaps the biggest take away lesson I learned from my three and only three U2 concerts is this:

I want to dream out loud!

     Yes, full-out dreaming out loud in Technicolor and 3D surround sound! 

      Here me right, this isn’t just, “Oh I have a fantasy that if life were perfect I’d (fill in the blank)”   No! Dreaming out loud requires a game plan, a plan that requires time, discipline, and action.

     The thing is we all work, and most of us if asked if we liked what we do would say, “Um, it’s okay” with as much enthusiasm as we can muster.  Remember, most jobs last for years, yes, decades even!  Maybe you’re one of the lucky ones and are exactly right where you should be and you wouldn’t change a thing.  If so, good for you, and keep doing what works for you.  Yet maybe you’ve got something scratching your brain that there is something more in the plans for you, but what exactly??.

Am I bugging you?  I don’t mean to bug ya!

   If you’re feeling any of the same symptoms, don’t panic.  It’s not necessarily a mid-life crisis.  It may just be the seeds of creativity or change are starting to bloom somewhere inside of you, and you’re desperately trying to find water.  

       Going to a U2 show under a U2 open sky will do this weird thing to you.  It will make you want to be more than you are.  It will make you want to get lost in the sound and come out with a need to do or create:

Take a paintbrush to canvass

Write words

Build something amazing

Take a picture like no one’s ever seen

Sculpt something with your hands

Run a marathon

Climb a mountain

See other people in other cultures and countries

Help another human in a way you’ve never done before

      What is your dream?  Are you working on it?  Even U2 started out as four young boys in Larry Mullen’s kitchen in Dublin after he put up a flyer looking to start a band.     The rest as they say is history.

      But it started with a dream—a  dream that the whole team worked at, honed their skills together and separately, studied, failed sometimes– but always with a refusal to quit, and a willingness and open mind to go in new directions, to follow where the Spirit leads.

       I say, leave fear behind, step into the sound, and go towards the light and then magnify all that is waiting for you to behold.  Go ahead; dream out loud!

 

You are invited to the Happy Place.  Enter here: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJBjCHEd0Dw