“Sleep tonight. And may your dreams be realized.” U2- MLK
What is it? You know what I’m talking about. That thing you just can’t have? Most people have something. That thing.
What is it? Who is it? Is it a place in time? Is it an attribute such as being thinner, taller, or smarter? Is it wanting to make real a memory of what once was and will never be again? Is it a certain success? Is it a conquering of something that plagues you or accomplishing a quest that drives you? Is it a specific feeling, a way of being loved, respected, or admired? Is it something you never had, but can taste vividly in your mind but can’t seem to grasp or make happen in real life?
Is it obvious to those who know you? Or do you keep it hidden in a secret, safe place? Is it readily attainable, or frustratingly elusive? Is it realistic?
Does it mean you have to change? Or does it mean you have to change your circumstances? Perhaps you first have to change your perspective. Maybe you’ll have to change the way your structure your life. Maybe you’ll have to increase focus and implementation your intentions—less dreaming, more doing.
Maybe there is a reason you don’t have it. Perhaps it would harm you. Or destroy you. Or mislead you. Or deceive or confuse you. Or to come to you for a time, only to leave you wanting it more than you do now, an ultimate abandonment. Perhaps you aren’t ready for it. Perhaps it’s not the good thing you think it is.
Life is so hard sometimes. When it is the hardest, it’s hard to be satisfied right here, at this moment in time, with THIS life.
We learn at an early age that we are born to die. We don’t always have the luxury of infinite time here to craft life the way we desire it to be. We’re bombarded with media and messages on how to dress, act, speak, behave, work, look, love, and live in order to finally be able to get it.
But sometimes you just won’t. You can’t. And you don’t. Perhaps there is an internal reason you can’t or won’t and you know you have to make really hard changes to make it happen. Or maybe it’s external, such as timing, or something even bigger: God’s will.
That’s a hard one. Why is it when you do everything to make it happen, it sometimes doesn’t? Why would God hold back on something you know to be good for you? A source of happiness for you? A completeness of your soul?
Because maybe it’s not about you. Ouch!
It’s true. Life is not always about me, and what I want. The pain comes in knowing you’ll need to figure out how to live joyfully without it.
Many of us walk around with a certain hole in our soul, but I believe those that overcome, even better—they thrive in the midst of adversity or even the subtle continuity of specific tribulations, are governed by a higher law.
Grace. The law of God’s unspeakable goodness is at work for you, and within you. Grace is knowing it’s all good, or at least has the potential to be used for good in your life or others. It’s all going to be okay because your strength doesn’t depend on you, but instead flows through you from a higher power. Not getting everything we want, or even a specific thing we want never has the power to disappoint or destroy us, once we understand we are already gracefully loved.
When we frame our desires and wants thru the lens of knowing that we are already loved by an all-knowing, all-seeing God who already knows our deepest longings, we find REST. We TRUST as we wait, and as we move forward, we can choose contentment as our perspective and feel joyful as we go about our lives. Even when we don’t get what we want or as we wait for it until we do.
“We are homesick most for the places we have never known.”
― Carson McCullers
“I don’t know what they are called, the spaces between seconds– but I think of you always in those intervals.”
― Salvador Plascencia, The People of Paper
“There is a space between man’s imagination and man’s attainment that may only be traversed by his longing.”
― Kahlil Gibran, Sand and Foam